Latest Web 2.0 Stupidity: Building a Killer Web App In 45 Minutes

Posted on February 13, 2008
Filed Under Web 2.0 Kool Aid |

If you could gather together some of the smartest Web developers and ask them to brainstorm a killer app for you, what would you ask them to build? Oh, and they will only have 45 minutes to do it.

No, it’s not another dumb reality TV program from FOX. It’s a special panel event at the upcoming Future of Web Apps (FOWA) conference in Miami starring Web 2.0 celebrities such as Kevin Rose.

And you - the viewing public - get to play a role in what killer app they develop. That’s right, by voting on TechCrunch, you can make sure that the 45 minutes are used productively to benefit mankind.

Where does the world need a killer app the most?

I gave this a lot of thought and I can’t decide. Can we please make it an hour and a half and select two?

Back to reality. This entire exercise is as stupid as the Web 2.0 Woodstock.

The categories above are already saturated with startups offering what they think are killer apps. What are the superstars of Web 2.0 going to come up with in 45 minutes other than evolutionary features that already-existent startups couldn’t add with an extra $5 million in VC funding?

This Future of Web Apps stunt leaves me no choice but to state the obvious: for all intents and purposes, Web 2.0 has officially bastardized innovation.

In Web 2.0, improving on something (usually by adding AJAX or new social features) is mistaken for innovation. The idea of value has been lost altogether. And god forbid that somebody actually try to solve a real-world problem that causes significant pain.

No, Web 2.0 has apparently devolved to the point where people actually believe that the next killer app is going to be developed in a 45 minute session of mental masturbation in front of an audience whose members are paying up to $795 for the opportunity to be in the presence of living legends.

But it’s not all bad. Once Kevin Rose and his computer compadres have sown the seeds of the next Internet revolution, you can attend the hottest Web 2.0 parties.

Of course, I know the truth: there are no hot parties. I’ve yet to see anyone in Web 2.0 embrace my conference best practices. Need evidence?

On the conference homepage, real photos are used of past conferences:

Note that not a single female can be identified in the photo above.

When it comes time to promote the party, however, conference organizers have chosen to use a stock photo to imply a different scenario: a 6 to 2 female-male ratio.

For those who are too busy still thinking about which category needs a killer app, let me make this simple. If you attend the FOWA conference, you will not be partying with the lovely marketing interns from my company:

You will be partying with:

I’m sure they’re nice guys and all, but Erick Schonfeld at TechCrunch has his work cut out for him. The killer app that comes out of FOWA better be good. After all, it’s hard to gain redemption for throwing what might be South Beach’s first sausage fest.

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5 Responses to “Latest Web 2.0 Stupidity: Building a Killer Web App In 45 Minutes”

  1. Note to Tide: Detergent is Detergent : The Drama 2.0 Show on February 14th, 2008 1:43 am

    […] recently hired a few marketing interns and am having them catalog all of the stupid social media marketing campaigns they can find on […]

  2. Michael Camilleri on February 14th, 2008 9:35 am

    I don’t know… that guy in the bottom left’s pretty hot.

  3. Drama 2.0 on February 14th, 2008 10:41 am

    Yeah there’s definitely a few studs in that lineup.

  4. Erica on February 14th, 2008 3:22 pm

    interestingly and somewhat predictably (cuz of all the women in marketing I assume), the marketing-related confs I’ve attended the past few years have a pretty good girl:guy ratio. Maybe these tech conferences need to throw a few marketing-related sessions in there. ???

  5. Email is Dead, Long Live Email : The Drama 2.0 Show on March 2nd, 2008 1:32 pm

    […] Schonfeld, who moderated what did turn out to be a useless 45-minute brainstorming session, stated: It was clear that the panelists think these communication modes that we rely on every day […]

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Drama 2.0 spikes the Web 2.0 kool aid by providing critical analyses of Web 2.0, its people, its startups and its impact on the world of media. Other topics are explored when Drama 2.0 has been drinking too much 1975 Dom Perignon. Read more about the Internet's version of Keyser Söze here.