What to Do with Your Life When the Web 2.0 Party is Over

The global economy is in the shitter. VCs have moved on to sexier markets. Drama 2.0’s hobbyist blogging activities earn him more profit in a year than your funded startup has generated in the past 2 years. There are 20 competitors in your market and 18 of them are already headed to the deadpool.

The writing is on the wall: your Web 2.0 dream is going to turn into a nightmare real quick. Metaphorically speaking, the nightclub is about to close and the only women who haven’t already gone home with somebody look about as attractive as a female version of Marc Canter despite the fact that you’ve had about 10 servings of Jack Daniels, 5 of Jäger and can barely even tweet the words, “I’m fucked up.”

If ever there was a post that truly requires no more than “this says it all,” this would be it.

Yammer, the Twitter knock-off that asks its users to answer the question “What are you working on now?” has walked away with TechCrunch50’s top prize.

What more really needs to be said?

According to TechCrunch’s Erick Schonfeld, Yammer’s business model is “brilliant.” And it’s simple: companies that want to claim their “users” and gain access to administrative controls have to pay Yammer.

TechCrunch50: Where are the Poor, Hungry Founders Who Don’t Have $18,500?

Updated: information below about the involvement of Michael Arrington’s business associate, Keith Teare, with a TechCrunch50 startup.

In his attacks on DEMO, Michael Arrington made it clear that he believes DEMO to be unethical because it charges presenting companies $18,500.

The insinuation has always been clear: DEMO is exploiting startups whose founders are typically working with limited funds and who could put $18,500 to work in far more productive ways.

TechCrunch50, on the other hand, because it’s free, gives poor, hungry unknowns the opportunity to launch in front of a huge, well-connected audience without paying a dime. This, of course, is an opportunity DEMO cannot offer because of its price tag.

TechCrunch50 Finalists: First Impressions

TechCrunch50 kicks off today and although I unfortunately had more pressing commitments and will not be wading through the crowd of white men dressed in khakis, I did want to check on who the TechCrunch50 companies are and provide my first impressions.

The Companies

Blah Girls - Backed by Ashton Kutcher, Blah Girls is a gossip site that features a group of animated teenage girls who provide opinions on what’s going on in the world of entertainment

We all know why this made TechCrunch50. Next please.

Tweegee — A hub for tweens, Tweegee offers the youth market a suite of online tools for social interaction and organization

The Stupidity of Social Investing Websites

I’ve always been somewhat amused by social investing websites like Cake Financial and Covestor. As someone who trades stocks and options for more than just fun, I have always believed the utility of services that look to help amateur investors by sharing the portfolios of their members and tracking results is minimal.

While a detailed discussion of my beliefs is beyond the scope of this blog and would be boringly technical, I found a good way to address the subject by using the announcement of Cake Financial’s new index fund - .

Battle of the Conferences Set to Begin

Next week is a big week for the world of technology startups. From September 8 to 10, approximately 50 startups will launch at TechCrunch50. In San Diego, the incumbent startup launch conference, Demo, will run from September 7 to 9.

The timing, of course, is not coincidental. TechCrunch’s Michael Arrington has Demo on the list of industries, companies and events he thinks need to be killed.

While I’m pleased to report that I will be in Patagonia skiing and smoking Cohiba cigars while the bloodbath ensues, next week is a stressful one for technology fiends who have to make a choice - TechCrunch50 or Demo? That’s a tough one.

Google Chrome for Dummies - Cartoons Included

There’s a lot of confusion about Google’s new browser, Chrome, and a lot of questions are being asked.

Is it a web browser? Is it better than Firefox? Is it an operating system? Is it going to kill Windows? Can it help you lose weight? Will it make your penis larger? Can it be used as a vibrator?

Whether you’re an average consumer looking to browse the Internets in the most efficient way possible or a former securities analyst who thinks the “technology stack” refers to pancakes, this post should clear things up for you.

Digital Bill of Rights or Digital Bill of Bullshit?

I understand that TechCrunch and other technology blogs like it are out of touch with mainstream reality. But a post last week really pushed the boundaries of absurdity.

On the heels of the Democratic National Convention, TechCrunch’s Erick Schonfeld decided the time was right to call for a “comprehensive national technology policy for the Internet Age.”

Why? Because “many laws and policies governing the Internet and digital property are inadequate attempts to transplant rules from a different era.”

You have to hand it Web 2.0’s digital socialists - they’re very quick on the uptake.

One of my favorite kool aid drinkers, Mark “Rizzn” Hopkins over at Mashable, earlier this week announced that he had discovered offshore hosting.

According to Hopkins, OpenTape, the open source answer to the RIAA’s smackdown of the popular Muxtape online “mixtape” service, could thrive if enough people get hip to the possibility of acquiring offshore hosting accounts out of the reach of the RIAA:

Facebook’s monetization are well known and I’ve discussed them in some depth. I’ve also raised questions about specifically, as have .

When Facebook hired former Googler Sheryl Sandberg to serve as COO, transforming Facebook into an advertising powerhouse was clearly one of the goals she was supposed to help the company accomplish.

After all, Facebook’s announcing her hire mentioned that “she built and managed Google’s online sales channels, which represent the majority of Google’s customers worldwide, for both AdWords and AdSense.”

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Drama 2.0 spikes the Web 2.0 kool aid by providing critical analyses of Web 2.0, its people, its startups and its impact on the world of media. Other topics are explored when Drama 2.0 has been drinking too much 1975 Dom Perignon. Read more about the Internet's version of Keyser Söze here.