Posted on November 12, 2007
Filed Under Web 2.0 Kool Aid |
There was drama in the blogging world recently when A-list bloggers Michael Arrington and Om Malik their speaking engagements at BlogWorld. I for one cannot blame Michael and Om for not showing, regardless of the true reasons behind their absences.
The reality is that technology conferences can be summed up with one word: boring. Why? It always seems like these conferences have the same speakers, the same topics, the same exhibitors. And they are always put together for the same reason: to make money for the organizers who recognize that you can always cash in by starting conferences that piggyback on hype.
It was time to change the way technology conferences are held and that’s why I created DramaFest. The sold-out DramaFest 2007 Amsterdam kicks off this coming Friday and I’d like to reveal some of the secrets to the interest in our conference so that other technology conference organizers can make their conferences more appealing:
- Have interesting speakers. Even if you don’t have Drama 2.0’s Rolodex and can’t get Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Diddy, Metallica, Tila Tequila, Ron Jeremy, Tommy Chong and Borat Sagdiyev in a room together for a mental orgy, you need to aspire to do better than a bunch of executive VPs and self-proclaimed experts. The interesting speakers will eliminate the negative effects of the obligatory executive VPs and self-proclaimed experts that you have to include as “filler.”
- Throw great parties. Parties are always the most enjoyable part of conferences and are a crucial part of making a conference not only memorable, but unforgettable. The venue has to be hot, great liquor must be in abundance and there should be absolutely no restrictions on the use of mind-altering substances by party-goers. Internext provides a good example of how a conference can in effect become a non-stop party.
- Make sure beautiful women are in abundance. For the clueless, great parties cannot exist without beautiful women but it is also important to ensure that they are present at the conference itself as this negates the effect poor speakers may have on attendee satisfaction. It would behoove technology conferences to make a better effort in this area, as attendees at technology conferences are typically undersexed males who react very favorably to the presence of even slightly attractive women. They are often deprived of access to attractive women in their cubicles (and Silicon Valley in general) so by giving them some eye candy, conference organizers can create Pavlovian conditioning for future conferences. Conference organizers who lack the ability to increase the male to female ratio at their conferences from 99 to 1 to a more balanced ratio can contact me; one of my businesses, Drama Models S.A., a subsidiary of Drama Holdings S.A., is capable of supplying you with gorgeous vixens from around the world. I personally hand-select each one of our models and guarantee your satisfaction.
- Get your sponsors and exhibitors to give away more than schwag and XBOX 360s. They worked hard to raise that last round of VC money and they need to put it to good use. Giving away a new Corvette Z6, $100,000 cash or a free trip to Phuket, Thailand will create more brand equity than foosballs with their logo. You just need to give them permission to believe.
DramaFest Amsterdam 2007 incorporates all of the above and is sure to be a smashing success. I don’t have to worry that Michael Arrington might forget to show up for his lecture on puppies - DramaFest 2007 Amsterdam has all the components of an unforgettable event, even if you don’t quite remember how you found yourself waking up on Sunday morning in bed with three buxom blondes who don’t speak a word of English. And that’s exactly how technology conferences should be.
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