Drama 2.0’s Predictions for 2008
Posted on December 21, 2007
Filed Under Web 2.0 Kool Aid |
Last year around this time, unbeknownst to Web 2.0 fanboys and fangirls, Drama 2.0 trolled over to Mashable and developed a new alter ego: Web 2.0 Skeptic. My “amusingly cynical comments” inspired Web celebrity Pete Cashmore to launch the Mashable Insulting Comments Contest, which I won (what the hell did you expect?). The winning comment contained my predictions for 2007:
I’m going to really go out on a limb here and make some off-the-wall predictions that may come as a shock to a lot of people. But I stand by these predictions and think that by this time next year I’ll be hailed as a visionary.
1. People will continue to consume online porn regularly.
2. Spam email will continue to rise.
3. Organized online crime will continue to be more profitable than starting a Web 2.0 company by the tune of at least several billion dollars, but all the Mark Zuckerburgs will continue to think that they’re money.
4. At least 5000 pregnancies will be the result of MySpace hookups. I accounted for 2-4 last year. I won’t know for sure until the paternity tests are in.
5. My 25% of the $15 million I am helping get out of Nigeria for the former king will finally arrive just as promised. Ngobe if you read this please call me with an update. 281-330-8004
So now that a new year is upon us and I’ve already been hailed as a prophet by a Drama 2.0 Show reader, it’s time that I make my predictions for 2008:
- People will continue to consume online porn regularly. Hopefully they will do so on one more of the properties in my extensive network of niche adult entertainment websites. If you’re looking for classy nude photographs and videos of some of Silicon Valley’s finest, get in touch and I’ll give you 10% off a subscription to Sand Hill Snatches, Palo Alto Pussy, Techie Tits or Google Girls Gone Wild.
- People will still fall victim to email phishing scams. Hopefully they will do so via some of the phishing emails that my criminal network sends. If you want to get your 2008 identity theft out of the way, please email me your name, social security number and credit card number (with CSC code). Once I’ve withdrawn 15% of your credit limit, I’ll make sure you’re added to the DNP (Do Not Phish) list for the remainder of the year.
- Mark Zuckerberg will make more apologies and may even team up with former American Idol winner Ruben Studdard to write “Sorry 2008,” the follow-up to the popular song “Sorry 2004.”
- Facebook .
- I will impregnate more Facebook women than MySpace women for the first time.
- Idiots like Duncan Riley will continue to claim victory over Old Media but the number of Bentleys being pulled off the lot at the Bentley Beverley Hills dealership on West Olympic will continue to increase.
- The deadpool will expand and just might start looking like a cesspool.
- The Fashion Police will be ill-equipped to deal with the fashion atrocities that are certain to take place at .
- Ron Paul supporters will take the Internets hostage when he does not win the Republican presidential nomination.
- The Drama 2.0 Show will pick up its first FeedBurner subscriber (please God!).
- More liquor will flow and more promiscuous sex between hot people will occur at DramaFest 2008 than at all of the 2008 Silicon Valley parties and conferences combined.
- Ngobe will come through with my money. 281-330-8004.
For those of you who are wasting time at work and want to take a trip down memory lane, my dear.
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