Pablo’s Place: We Keep that White Girl
Posted on March 7, 2008
Filed Under Easy VC Money |
The Opportunity
Each year, more than $500 billion changes hands in the global business of narcotics. It is one of the most sophisticated industries on the face on the planet and brings together a diverse range of individuals and groups for one purpose: to make significant amounts of money.
There is a market for narcotics for a simple reason: the world is a tough place and people just want to get high. Yet, for the most part, there is no major online hub that serves the needs of those who use narcotics and those who deal in narcotics. Pablo’s Place will change that by providing the first comprehensive Internet portal for narcotics. In doing so, it will cement its place in one of the most lucrative businesses known to man.
The Service
Pablo’s Place will be the Yahoo of the drug world. It will serve as the primary online destination for consumers and dealers, providing them with a new set of triple Cs: content, community and commerce.
- News and blogs. Pablo’s Place will employ experts to write about narcotics-related topics. Has a new designer drug hit the streets? Get the latest scoop. Have new laws been passed that dealers need to be aware of? Don’t get caught unaware. Pablo’s Place will be the first place consumers and dealers turn to when “the word on the street” is slow to arrive.
- Community. The Pablo’s Place NARCOmmunity social network is the first social network designed specifically to serve the needs of the narcotics world. Whether you’re a consumer looking for a partner to shoot heroin up with or a dealer seeking out a new distribution contact, NARCOmmunity is destined to become the largest online community for the narcotics world. Advanced privacy features and a proprietary reputation system will help ensure the confidentiality of the information that is available on (and communications that take place through) NARCOmmunity.
- Price comparisons. Who has the best deal on a gram of cocaine? What’s the going rate for ecstasy in your city? Pablo’s Place enables dealers to specify their prices and also uses a network of data collectors to offer up price comparisons. It brings the Shopzilla model to narcotics.
- Reviews. Where can you find the purest china white? Which dealers consistently deliver the good stuff? Pablo’s Place takes advantage of the popularity of user-generated reviews and will enable narcotics consumers to rate the dealers they do business with. It’s Yelp for Yayo.
- Listings. Pablo’s Place will serve as Craigslist for crack by providing a comprehensive listing service that enables all participants in the world of narcotics to connect for commercial purposes. Are you a consumer looking to sell an old bong? Post a classified ad. Do you operate a crack house? Make sure it’s listed in the directory of places to get high.
- Jobs. The world of narcotics offers a wide range of career opportunities. Mulester is the Pablo’s Place answer to Monster. Whether you’re looking for an entry-level position as a mule or are an experienced accountant with money-laundering experience looking to get out of the corporate world and apply your skills in a more challenging environment, Mulester is the premiere place to find a job in the narcotics industry.
A screenshot of the Pablo’s Place price comparison service:
A screenshot of NARCOmmunity:
Yelp for Yayo:
A screenshot of a real estate listing:
Management Team
Pablo’s Place is led by an experienced group of industry veterans. Further details are available to qualified parties.
Business Model
Pablo’s Place leverages a robust hybrid advertising model to tap into the $500 billion/year narcotics industry. Depending on the type of advertising being done, advertising will be sold under CPC, CPM, CPA and per-listing pricing structures.
Marketing Strategy
Pablo’s Place will spend no more than $10,000 on marketing as the service does not need to be marketed. In the words of Chris Rock: “drugs sell themselves.”
Exit Strategies
Funding
Pablo’s Place seeks $12 million in funding for development, staffing, security and “quality assurance.”
Who I’m Pitching
The same really private equity guys who invested in Blackmailr.
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Drama 2.0 spikes the Web 2.0 kool aid by providing critical analyses of Web 2.0, its people, its startups and its impact on the world of media. Other topics are explored when Drama 2.0 has been drinking too much 1975 Dom Perignon. Read more about the Internet's version of Keyser Söze here.
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It’s sad when I realize that I recognize every single graphic you used in there. What’s the anti-KoolAid? I think I need some.
where do you find the time to come up with this stuff????
Antje: recurring revenue streams and annuities. Plus I have a white girl that helps me with my writing.
Cyndy: I have just what you need. 281-330-8004. Ask for D.
funiest blog post ever!
A nice way to start a monday morning! thanks for the laugh!
I love this blog only been reading it for the last 2 weeks.
cheers
fabulous… thanks to the creator… puts things in perspective…
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