Posted on June 10, 2008
Filed Under Culture & Technology |
Yesterday was a special day for geeks around the world. They finally had something besides Twitter to write about.
Yes, that can only mean one thing: Apple released a new iPhone.
Blogs like Engadget and TechCrunch dedicated a chunk of their daily “coverage” to the iPhone and the mainstream press was equally guilty of indulging in the hype.
Given that I’m not easily amused by technology gadgets and am not particularly fond of cell phones (I value both my and my ), I always get amused when I see throngs of geeks - mostly male - lining up to see what Apple is going to release.
It’s like watching a group of teenage boys who have never seen a pair of breasts lining up to get a peek at their first Playboy.
Enough is enough.
While I wouldn’t ask any self-respecting man to give up his love for a beautiful pair of breasts, there’s something awfully creepy about grown men who can’t walk along Plage de Tahiti in Saint Tropez without gawking like pubescent boys.
Since Apple is to geeks what breasts are to men, it’s worth pointing out that all of the Apple fanboys are essentially those pubescent boys.
It’s time to grow up.
I don’t care if Apple makes great products. I don’t care if Apple is innovative. I don’t care if Steve Jobs is Jesus Christ 2.0. There’s simply no justification for there to be so many Apple groupies, just as there’s no legitimate reason to worship C or D-cups.
Fortunately, I’m not the only one who thinks this way. News.com’s Charles Cooper writes:
Let’s face the truth: Apple gets a enormous amount of free publicity because we’ve all bought into the idea that it’s special. I suppose kudos are in order to Apple’s corporate media planners on a job well done.
In other words, the press and bloggers have been “pussy-whipped” by Apple PR’s team.
There’s nothing flattering about that, especially when one considers that most of the Apple groupies seem to have some sort of anti-corporate fetish going.
Bottom line: no matter how “cool” or “trendy,” the iPhone is still just a cell phone.
It’s not going to help you lose weight. It’s not going to make you more money. It’s not going to make you more productive. It’s not going to help you attract a woman. And it certainly isn’t going to help the fact that if you waited in line to get it, you’re probably a complete loser.
No, in the overall scheme of things, the iPhone is pretty damn boring because just like a tit, there’s really only so much you can do with it.
At the end of the day, as much as I love breasts, I won’t pay money for them and I certainly won’t wait in line for them.
Apple groupies might want to consider that before they waste their time, their money, their brains and their sperm on that new iPhone.Print This Post