Posted on January 29, 2008
Filed Under Web 2.0 Kool Aid |
Everybody knows I’m not a huge fan of Facebook. I think the company is extremely overvalued, has scaled far too rapidly and is led by an awkward, underdeveloped adult (he’s 24, not 14) who is increasingly finding himself out of his league. Facebook is the epitome of Bubble 2.0: billions of dollars worth of hype yet nowhere near billions of dollars worth of substance.
As readers of The Drama 2.0 Show know, I usually write detailed analyses that back up the positions I take. My position today is this: Facebook is fucked. In this post, however, I don’t plan to provide any real analysis; I will instead let visual evidence speak for itself because I really feel that nothing more is needed.
I originally created a fake Facebook account a couple of years ago and hadn’t used the service since then. So I created a new fake account (thus adding to Facebook’s perceived value) just to see what’s going on with the service that investors are dropping their panties to invest in.
Nothing excited me, but I did discover the shit, bottom-of-the-barrel ads you see above. These indicate that Facebook has become the leader in serving up the most useless (I already have an attorney that fixes my DUI cases), irrelevant (I have no belly fat to lose) and poorly-targeted ads in the world (why am I getting ads that are apparently supposed to be reaching people in Delaware, South Carolina, Illinois and California when I’m in none of these places?). Yes, I know these are not Social Ads (the kind where you learn that your friend has incontinence problems because he buys Depend adult diapers), but they’re still absolutely horrible. It’s embarassing to think that for all the hype and all the money invested, Facebook is widely considered the beacon of consumer Internet innovation today (pun intended).
After seeing these ads, I believe that anyone who thinks Facebook is worth anywhere near $15 billion needs to click on the “Dumb Test” ad. On second thought, don’t click. Let me give you the results myself: you’re dumber than . Not forgiveable because, even though Kellie really isn’t my type, you are still probably less attractive and don’t have a somewhat-sexy country drawl.
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9 Responses to “Facebook is Fucked”
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every start-up seeking funding I talk to who has an online application invariably gets asked: what’s your facebook (or if they’re slightly savvier, open social) strategy?
If I was stupid enough to actually waste my time talking with a VC, my response would have to be: we don’t have a Facebook strategy. We’re interested in making money. Thanks for your consideration, but I think I’d like to take money from a firm that’s interested in the same.
You are wrong. That USB turntable is going to sell through the roof.
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The only interesting part of Facebook is the information feed on what your friends are doing. This is what Twitter tried to capture too. I think both of them will fail, but this is an interesting paradigm, and someone will eventually figure out how to do it correctly.
I think Facebook is worth what MS paid for the advertising rights. Perhaps double that amount, but nothing more.
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