“Biz In A Box” Service Another Sign that Web 2.0 is Running Long in the Tooth

Posted on November 13, 2007
Filed Under Web 2.0 Kool Aid |

Digital Telepathy, a “digital marketing agency that embodies the Web 2.0 philosophy of a democratized Internet,” is hoping to make dreams a reality for wannabe Web 2.0 entrepreneurs who lack the skills necessary to get a startup off the ground. For $15,000 to $250,000, Digital Telepathy claims to be capable of providing aspiring Mark Zuckerbergs and Kevin Roses with a “truly unique business concept,” “proven user experience design” and a “completed web app” - all in three months. If that doesn’t sound juicy enough, they’ll even throw in a solid revenue model - something that the majority of the most popular Web 2.0 startups have failed to develop.

In Reality 1.0, if it sounded too good to be true, it probably was too good to be true. In the Reality 2.0 world of Web 2.0, if it sounds too good to be true, it must be, well, true.

There are always opportunists who look to exploit atmospheres of euphoria for their own personal gain and Web 2.0 has created a significant amount of euphoria. But the most telling sign that the Web 2.0 euphoria is likely peaking (besides the seven signs revealed in Bible 2.0) is that such a blatant attempt at exploiting the euphoria received a positive plug on one of the most prominent Web 2.0 blogs. This despite the nauseating, amateurish and downright unconvincing text that permeates the Digital Telepathy website:

You have a great idea. But before you elope and go get married to it, it’s a good to do a background check and make sure your friends on the web are excited about it. So, we’ll knock your idea around, ask all the right questions, and then make sure we dress it up to stand out on the big day.

Would you wait until the second story of your house is finished to make sure that the cement in your foundation is dry? Well, we wouldn’t either and we think building web apps that way doesn’t make sense either. Instead we use test driven development built in Ruby on Rails and enable you to see the process every step of the way.

The funny thing about users is that they only use when it’s easy, fun and/or useful to do so. So, if you are going to build something, stop for a second and allow us to listen to your users. We’ll then throw some design ideas on the wall and then prototype and refine those ideas until they are brilliant.

Why wait until your app is finished before you start talking about it. Instead, we’ll dress it up sexy and take it out on the town to steal some glances and get people talking about it. That way, when the clothes come off and it’s naked for all the world to see there will already be a long line waiting there to catch a glimpse.

Poor metaphors and typos aside, I would encourage aspiring Web 2.0 billionaires with more money than brains to ask themselves: if Digital Telepathy is able to build a successful Web 2.0 startup in 90 days and successful Web 2.0 startups have commanded significant valuations from investors and acquirers, just why is Digital Telepathy so eager to make paltry sums of up to $250,000 when the businesses it’s supposedly going to create for clients could be worth so much more? Wouldn’t Digital Telepathy inevitably make a lot more money building its own portfolio of startups given its apparent sure-fire methodology for creating successful Web 2.0 businesses?

The obvious answer is that Digital Telepathy would rather take your money because it knows the truth: there is no such thing as a “biz in a box” – even in Web 2.0 You can’t write a check and have someone deliver a great turnkey startup. Building a great application doesn’t ensure that you’re going to be able to execute on a strategy that drives success. And with seemingly dozens of new Web 2.0 startups launching daily (most of which are copycats), the idea that somebody has a formula for creating so much buzz for your service that users are waiting in line to use it is patently absurd. But the self-proclaimed “digital visionaries” at Digital Telepathy want you to believe that this is all possible despite the fact that anybody with an iota of common sense should smell something funky.

This is what Web 2.0 has become: a dream. The startup itself is now a commodity that is packaged and sold. Web 2.0 proponents love to celebrate that reduced barriers to entry make it possible for the next generation of Internet entrepreneurs to innovate and build new businesses, but few seem ready to acknowledge that most startups fail and that for every Web 2.0 success, there are and will be dozens of failures. The myths of Web 2.0 that will drive people to use services like Digital Telepathy will inevitably lead to disappointment. In my opinion, while there are viable business opportunities in the space we call “Web 2.0,” the sooner the Web 2.0 bubble pops, the better off the market for innovation on the Internet will be.

If you’re not convinced by now that Web 2.0 is getting a little bit long in the tooth and that outfits like Digital Telepathy are trying to exploit the hopes and dreams of wannabe Internet entrepreneurs who read about Facebook’s $15 billion valuation and want to get in on the action, you need look no further than the fact that Digital Telepathy claims to be the “first carbon-neutral digital marketing agency.” BS 2.0 never smelled so good.

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Comments

4 Responses to ““Biz In A Box” Service Another Sign that Web 2.0 is Running Long in the Tooth”

  1. Stanley Miller on November 13th, 2007 2:26 pm

    Time for an “e-BIZ in a BOX” flashbak.

    e-BIZ in a BOX Dominates Market in Retail
    Channel…

    You can find the press release here:

    http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_2000_Nov_7/ai_66688529

    And, for an update go here: ebz.com

  2. More Techcrunch Fodder - Biz in a Box | FuckedSuit on November 13th, 2007 9:45 pm

    […] until I saw this: https://drama20show.com/2007/11/13/biz-in-a-box-service-another-sign-that-web-20-is-running-long-… did I realize what I had […]

  3. Michael Camilleri on November 16th, 2007 7:38 am

    Please. Fire. Duncan. Riley.

  4. Web 2.0 “Biz in a Box” Service Revisited : The Drama 2.0 Show on February 22nd, 2008 12:10 am

    […] in November, I wrote a piece that was critical of Digital Telepathy, a self-proclaimed “digital marketing agency that […]

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